Lifeless

Everything In life just goes up and down in this little short month, or I should say its somehow a long month for me. Nonetheless, everything just turns to a better side and staying consistent. That's a thing for sure I hope. Actually I don't really see much exciting part of my college except the part where I got assignment or assessment and my heartbeat skip once. Had been a long time I never felt this way. Anyways, life still goes on no matter how abnormal my heartbeat is.

Well I do admit I'm in a mess this month but no matter how it is, I'm still back up here and everything just turn back to normal or even better. Frankly speaking, I found myself standing on the right spot now and how I am suppose to play my role.
Mistake still mistake but right, no one outside there had never done a mistake!
As long as we know how to turn n look back at our wrong footstep, that's more than enough.

I know I gotta face lots of work and most probably it will pile up if I were to continue this way. Well the road ain't easy and nothing comes free and everything happens for a reason. Accept the fact that I'M A LAZY BOY =P
And no matter what, thanks to that particular person that never step a back from mine and hear my ranting all the way through this few months.

One interesting thing about my college now is that, I'm all new. I gotta learn all AGAIN! Break time is the BOMB! Most of the March intake around 17-20+ of us will have our break together and it will be a mess especially BILL TIME!

*I had already finished my college and waiting for DIXON at comp lab while blogging here*

Sunday,Monday... Tuesday will be the day I have to wake up at 6am and drive all the way to college. Getting back the routine that I've left for this past 5 weeks. A kind of mix feeling strikes me for all this to happen so soon. My holiday wasn't that productive after all. Not been doing what I wish for. Partially. I can feel that I will have more tough time coming when this 2nd semester starts. Got more subject that previous and I don't really like the life over there. Not that kind of life I wish for, but I can do nothing with it. I'm lost now with the subject I chose.
Assignments to come and I certainly don't want to do till midnight and being accuse saying that I'm playing computer game but not doing assignment. Looking back at my college life, there's more suffer than joy I can see. Yes I'm somehow envy of some other people out there having such a wonderful life, but what I can do. LIVE WITH IT.

Got back my result. I'm kinda satisfy with it and it's more than what I've excepted.
Honestly I've not been doing the every best of mine for that because I'm a very lazy person and have been doing last minute work most of the time.
I never blame on anything in timing just that the efficiency of own work doesn't cope up with the others.

Selection of subject is just like shit. I'm totally blur in which subject to choose.
I lost my track. Saying is always easier than doing.
"Choosing which subject you like and just study with it"
if as easy as that I won't be like what I'm now. There's this thing called as combination of subject. The weight age for each assignments are different and when it comes together will be like a bomb. So far I've just chose leadership in business and computer science. This is certainly a bad choice because both doesn't relates to what I had learn at 1st semester. While for the another two will be the compulsory subjects.

Sigh, maybe things doesn't goes as bad as I thought of.

If you all so disagree with my study and wanted me to work so badly
why not just stop all my studies and let me work all the way at the 1st place.
By this way you won't have to worry bout money spent by me anymore in future.
Isn't that a good choice? What for I study so hard all this while. You should tell me earlier what you had planned.

There’s this one fine night I was on Rahman’s(ns friend) bed and I told him I’m not in the mood all this while in here. He told me, no one would ever cheer you up till you have the intention to do it yourself and open up the window. That time I don’t really understand what he mean by that but now I think I got it. Control yourself over stuff does help. Catch back the mind that is still flying around and think from another way of it. I know saying and doing is two big different thing. However, I’m still very new in this and yet learning step by step. Mistake is for sure but depends on that one person is willing to take and learn from it or not. I got even much responsibility now compared to last time and I have to step on it so that it will not overtake me anytime from now. Thanks Rahman buddy I’ll remember that you told me until I really reach the stage of actualization.