Holiday Or Hell?

Should or shouldn't I said this. I'm having my Sem holiday now until 12/7. It half of it was relaxing and fun because I don't have to think of assignment and worry about college stuff except the subject I will be taking for next semester. while for another half, even though I'm having holiday but it doesn't seems like a enjoying holiday as usual. I got working issues and it is just seems to be very normal, but deep in it wasn't as easy as that. There's like a devil and angel inside myself. Thinking of holiday should be enjoying and get to hang out but I couldn't leave things behind just like that. Nothing comes free and easy. Some might thinks that this kind of thought is somehow immature but this is just me. Sometimes that feeling just overtake me. However I still can't stop how you all wanted to look at me. How much I thought bout it, I'm still back to square one. It doesn't make any changes, just that the feeling of denial is just there for a short moment. I know I have to live with it and how much time given to me it will not help much unless my heart has opened up to accept that. I'm totally fine with what comment comes to me cause I know myself well. It will be hard for me. So its okay. What I think is that I don't want to miss out but on the same time I have to do the right thing. These two will just always clash and sometimes I have to pick up the right decision.

(I'm not angry at you or whatsoever so don't worry. No hard feeling, things are just like how it suppose to be. I know how it feels when u put hope on someone and ended up feeling disappointed.)
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Time passes by real fast and like u said the longer we stay, the harder to say Good Bye. Yes very true. From time to time where we are that shy to each other at first and hey look now. There's surely a big difference. We are totally retarded doing stupid stuff together. Being honest with each other does help. I'm glad that you're opening up to me. I'm just so comfortable with your existence. You somehow just inspired me in a way and not only you learn a lot but it same goes to me. Looking at things moving around makes me feel more appreciate and don't make silly decision that the heart doesn't want to. Thanks to you, even sometimes you don't really know how to help but you know I don't need any advise. I just appreciate the ears your provide whenever I need it.