Should or shouldn't I said this. I'm having my Sem holiday now until 12/7. It half of it was relaxing and fun because I don't have to think of assignment and worry about college stuff except the subject I will be taking for next semester. while for another half, even though I'm having holiday but it doesn't seems like a enjoying holiday as usual. I got working issues and it is just seems to be very normal, but deep in it wasn't as easy as that. There's like a devil and angel inside myself. Thinking of holiday should be enjoying and get to hang out but I couldn't leave things behind just like that. Nothing comes free and easy. Some might thinks that this kind of thought is somehow immature but this is just me. Sometimes that feeling just overtake me. However I still can't stop how you all wanted to look at me. How much I thought bout it, I'm still back to square one. It doesn't make any changes, just that the feeling of denial is just there for a short moment. I know I have to live with it and how much time given to me it will not help much unless my heart has opened up to accept that. I'm totally fine with what comment comes to me cause I know myself well. It will be hard for me. So its okay. What I think is that I don't want to miss out but on the same time I have to do the right thing. These two will just always clash and sometimes I have to pick up the right decision.
(I'm not angry at you or whatsoever so don't worry. No hard feeling, things are just like how it suppose to be. I know how it feels when u put hope on someone and ended up feeling disappointed.)
________________________________________________________________________________
Time passes by real fast and like u said the longer we stay, the harder to say Good Bye. Yes very true. From time to time where we are that shy to each other at first and hey look now. There's surely a big difference. We are totally retarded doing stupid stuff together. Being honest with each other does help. I'm glad that you're opening up to me. I'm just so comfortable with your existence. You somehow just inspired me in a way and not only you learn a lot but it same goes to me. Looking at things moving around makes me feel more appreciate and don't make silly decision that the heart doesn't want to. Thanks to you, even sometimes you don't really know how to help but you know I don't need any advise. I just appreciate the ears your provide whenever I need it.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Random Thought again
Things are just going so fast in my life. Although I never experience all this much but I've seen much from my friends. Going in as if it is a merry ground and without thinking of the consequences. Sometimes, we just need to fight for the thing we want. Even if we failed to do so, at least the effort is there and shouldn't give up just like that without even thought of trying. Looking at them putting the effort in with the ending that not everyone want to see.
Looking back at my own footstep, I'm very lucky enough to stand at where I'm currently. Been though obstacle and challenges and yet I'm still on the right track with you. I want this to continue like how we wanted to and it always will. We will go through all together in future no matter how much it cost. Cause I know that we both play a role in this. Just note that, I will always there for you syg. We will always do that like how we used to. :D
Tolerance, Initiative, Understanding, Effort, Time, Scarification.
Looking back at my own footstep, I'm very lucky enough to stand at where I'm currently. Been though obstacle and challenges and yet I'm still on the right track with you. I want this to continue like how we wanted to and it always will. We will go through all together in future no matter how much it cost. Cause I know that we both play a role in this. Just note that, I will always there for you syg. We will always do that like how we used to. :D
Tolerance, Initiative, Understanding, Effort, Time, Scarification.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Little Reflection
I wrote a lot of reflection for my assignment and presentation before during college time, but I never thought of writing a reflection for myself throughout the entire time I spent in college and what kind of life I have been gone through.
When first in there, I keep remind myself to be friendly and independent no matter in what condition. Learning is part of the progress I have to go through. I never expect myself to use Microsoft word, Power point and Excel. All I need to do is start from zero. Observe and learn that’s important. I used to be very talkative and active during the first month but, when time passes by. Things just go so wrong for me. How to do assignment? I have no idea. All I know is just to follow the instruction and ask if possible. How much effort I have put in it shows on the result itself. Rank 4 is the highest grade and my average was only 2-3. Very seldom I’ll get a 4 but just for that several times. This theory is like what u had planted and you will get back what it will grow.
Time management is a very important skill to be mastered as I mentioned before. But I’m just good at saying but not doing that makes a difference. What’s in my mind when doing assignment was not the grade or result but the requirement of the assignment. I urge to finish the assignment every time and I end up doing it last minute and light up the midnight oil. Because of that I got myself into an accident. As a conclusion, I’m not a good plan master.
Looking everyone walking around the building having ISU on top of their head just makes me feel so sick. Monday blues especially. They would just ask “hey what you got for your grade” and at last “not bad well done” I somehow feel the sarcasm. Most of the time I scored poorly and I would just sit at the corner asking a few of them. While for the rest they would just walk around comparing and praising. It is very hypocrite for me. Maybe I’m just being prejudice. Cause I’m a Malaysian and I’m very satisfy with my result no manner how poor it is. I know no point complaining around like an idiot and knowing that it won’t make a different. I see a lot of flaws in myself during this period and I’m still trying to fix it or I never will. This is just so pathetic.
One best thing over there was get to know various kinds of friends from different country. Iran, Sudan, Russia, Bangladesh. Even if they were from different countries but don't take that as a reason for them not to communicate well. Think about ENGLISH as a language and it will solve all that problem.
Somehow they are very helpful and friendly and I totally see I different in myself. I’m not a joker and whoever stays beside me, I’ll just be a boring person. No matter what, 1st Semester is coming to an end this Thursday after my Challenge & Change final exam. Have fun during the Sem break. *hopefully*
When first in there, I keep remind myself to be friendly and independent no matter in what condition. Learning is part of the progress I have to go through. I never expect myself to use Microsoft word, Power point and Excel. All I need to do is start from zero. Observe and learn that’s important. I used to be very talkative and active during the first month but, when time passes by. Things just go so wrong for me. How to do assignment? I have no idea. All I know is just to follow the instruction and ask if possible. How much effort I have put in it shows on the result itself. Rank 4 is the highest grade and my average was only 2-3. Very seldom I’ll get a 4 but just for that several times. This theory is like what u had planted and you will get back what it will grow.
Time management is a very important skill to be mastered as I mentioned before. But I’m just good at saying but not doing that makes a difference. What’s in my mind when doing assignment was not the grade or result but the requirement of the assignment. I urge to finish the assignment every time and I end up doing it last minute and light up the midnight oil. Because of that I got myself into an accident. As a conclusion, I’m not a good plan master.
Looking everyone walking around the building having ISU on top of their head just makes me feel so sick. Monday blues especially. They would just ask “hey what you got for your grade” and at last “not bad well done” I somehow feel the sarcasm. Most of the time I scored poorly and I would just sit at the corner asking a few of them. While for the rest they would just walk around comparing and praising. It is very hypocrite for me. Maybe I’m just being prejudice. Cause I’m a Malaysian and I’m very satisfy with my result no manner how poor it is. I know no point complaining around like an idiot and knowing that it won’t make a different. I see a lot of flaws in myself during this period and I’m still trying to fix it or I never will. This is just so pathetic.
One best thing over there was get to know various kinds of friends from different country. Iran, Sudan, Russia, Bangladesh. Even if they were from different countries but don't take that as a reason for them not to communicate well. Think about ENGLISH as a language and it will solve all that problem.
Somehow they are very helpful and friendly and I totally see I different in myself. I’m not a joker and whoever stays beside me, I’ll just be a boring person. No matter what, 1st Semester is coming to an end this Thursday after my Challenge & Change final exam. Have fun during the Sem break. *hopefully*
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
