I know people standing by my side would want to help me so much, everything you have done I see it. I never say anything doesnt mean i dont feel it. just at times, there are stuff that i really can't face it and don't want to listen. Whatever it is, I still know whether I am still standing or I am not. At times, just need a listener when I need advise I will ask for one but I do appreciate and agree what whatever things that I have been told. This position is not what I ask for. To people beside me, I never ask for much but to just be strong for yourself if just if I am not there to presence for your feelings or to take care of it. I am lost or what I don't know. I can't see it myself. I am just walking down this road as it is. I am trying to take this incident and look for the brighter side. Sorry in advance if I really never did enough for everything or everyone. Especially you that have suffered along with me this road. I know you wanted to help me so badly, I appreciate it and i will really think of what you have told me. Like i said, every night is the same. It hits me every night before I sleep. Sorry.

I know people standing by my side would want to help me so much, everything you have done I see it. I never say anything doesnt mean i dont feel it. just at times, there are stuff that i really can't face it and don't want to listen. Whatever it is, I still know whether I am still standing or I am not. I at times, just need a listener when I need advise I will ask for one. This position is not what I ask for. To people beside me, I never ask for much but to just be strong for yourself if just if I am not there to presence for your feelings or to take care of it. I am lost or what I don't know. I can't see it myself. I am just walking down this road as it is. I am trying to take this incident and look for the brighter side. Sorry in advance if I really never did enough for everything or everyone. Especially you that have suffered along with me this road. I know you wanted to help me so badly, I appreciate it and i will be back stronger it I get over it. Like i said, every night is the same. It hits me every night before I sleep.

I always wanted to write down something out of everything that have happened to me recently in this month. Have been a very unpredictable journey yet things still need to remain still. Getting to wake up safe and sound the second day or even in a journey could be the best thing ever that I can ask already. Not to know where to start where I should saying or telling. Guess I am just lost in this maze. Not knowing where this should lead to or even know who should i refer to. It is just saddening to be in this shoe. Whatever that should come never come, and whatever that should happen never happen. Those said, life is a test itself. Being able to go through everyday is already the damn best thing already.

At times, i question myself. How could i make myself looked so cruel, too cold blooded to make it as if I have no feelings toward everything. But, whenever, I think of it back, it still hit me hard. The physical pain in the heart. Even when there are times, I couldn't resist it but I have to. Have to pretend as if I don't feel anything. Every night, I told myself i would be alright, it is the same every night. Please... Please... somebody I really feel at times I can't take this...