To You.

To You,

You are not here here anymore and I have to accept this cruel facts. It is almost 2 years now and things has not been anyhow better but at least is didn't turn out worst.
You're not here to be like last time to share stories with me and to guide me through things that I am about to go through or probably what you have been through. I have too much to tell to you and I don't have any one to share stuff with and to totally understand and give a proper advise back. Probably is because we grew up together and we experience the same thing and having the same thought and obviously yours are way better than me. Having a person like you by my side I have never learn to be grateful and to depend on you much because I believe that I can be as independent as you. However, it is not like that, somewhere during the journey it is hard to be independent and I do need you. Knowing having a person like you is truly my light when I'm lost in between. For me, you're a person that knows everything because you're older than me and you experience more things than me. So by just talking to you I have learnt a lot throughout when you're still around.
I can have someone to be childish with and you would pamper me in your own way because you love me and see me as someone that still need the right guidance. Now i understand why you're being you when you're in this position where now I am having it. Things just doesn't seems right and you need to hold on to it and never give up is something i will still need a long time to learn this.
Sometimes I have a lot of thought in my mind about things around us that is happening and would really want to tell it out and you're always the person that come to my mind, but.. reality hits me hard knowing that i can't do that anymore.
Reminiscence is all I can do right now. All that valuable stuff that you left back for me doesn't seems valuable to me except the memories.
I might not be in a good spot now cause things are falling apart here right now. I really need you by my side. I really don't know how to get things back together like you do. All the expectations and pressure are on my shoulder and I feel that I am about to give up anytime soon. Can you come back instead ? I really MISS you my dear brother.

Sincerely,
The sibling that miss you dearly everyday.